prescriptions for the soul

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Pick The Right Ring Please

Dear George:

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and we talked about marriage, but the engagement probably won't happen for a few more months. I have a particular ring in mind that I'd like and don't know how to tell him I'd prefer the ring I picked out.

-- Picky

Dear Picky:

An engagement ring is a unwritten agreement that you'll stay with your husband for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. Which is why I always say if the woman breaks off the engagement, she should return the ring. Saying that, it does make sense that since the acceptance of this ring indicates your commitment, and you'll be wearing this ring every day for the rest of your life, why not have one you actually like.

You wouldn't accept a contract you didn't like, right?

So you can tell him straight out what to buy, which would probably diminish the surprise and feeling of control that he has in this decision to marry you. Or you can do this another equally effective way.

When you're out with your boyfriend and your girlfriend, have your girlfriend approach your boyfriend secretly and ask him about the impending engagement. She could say, "I heard through the grapevine you're thinking of asking 'Picky' to marry you. I don't know if that's true or not, but if it is...I'd love to help you pick out the ring in your price range. Speaking from a woman's perspective, having the right ring on your finger all day, every day, is important. I know what she wants and can definitely help you."

Most guys, myself included, find shopping stressful and would appreciate this kind of assistance. Don't forget the part where you tell your girlfriend what ring you'd like.

--- George

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