prescriptions for the soul

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Need To Know Basis

George:

I've about had it with my current boyfriend. He is just so oblivious to my emotional needs. He just doesn't seem to know what makes me happy. What advice do you have?

--- Sue in Chicago


Dear Sue:

I've heard this before from an ex-girlfriend. Whenever I did something she didn't like or when I failed to meet her needs, she would say, "you should know what I want." I always wished she came with a manual or better yet, a help desk, where I could call and get quick relationship advice. Ultimately, I realized it was her responsibility to tell me what she expected and required in the relationship. Too many people assume their significant other should know what they need. This lack of communication is a relationship killer. Sit your guy down and spell it out in clear English. Tell him it's the playbook to your heart. He should get a kick out of that. If he continues to fumble the ball, send him packing to the minor leagues.

-- George

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