prescriptions for the soul

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Double Digits. Double Standard.

Dear Readers:

When I start dating someone I'm curious to know about their sexual histories. I have no idea why except maybe to see how I measure up. And while I don't think there is a magic number of acceptable partners for women, I do get nervous when they're approaching double digits. A double standard for sure.
Do you recommend full disclosure in regards to this question or should I let sleeping dogs lie. And speaking of lying. Do women want to know the whole truth about their man's past?
Being a curious person, I have tons of questions about life. Please feel free to offer your own advice in the form of comments.


joey♥ said...

at the beginning, be coy and don't divulge too much.

what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?

i don't offer up information like that unless i'm asked, but if i'm asked, i usually change the subject. i don't like to kiss and tell. but once i get into a serious relationship, i might divulge my history as long as the man i'm with is someone i could see myself being with for a while.

Mellissa said...


Double digits are not hard to reach in that conversation if you are dating a woman over 35....

I am over 35, have double digits and am a "nice" girl ;-) If you do the average it is totally respectable to be DD ....

Besides, I think it is less about wanting to know about a girls experiences in life (dating) than it is to make a judgement call based on her "number"..

I let sleeping dogs lie by the way and keep my sexual past just for myself, I never kiss and tell!!

Love you Blog - I will be back here as this is good stuff!!


chamki said...

I think one shouldnt lie at any cost. I would want to know the truth and only the truth about anybody at any point of time.If you are asked a question and you avoid the whole truth, i think its as good as telling a lie. You are hiding right? Even if i wasnt interested in dating the person i met its just horrible to know that people lie. I think its ok to have double digits or triple digits for that matter! remember these digits are not always in our control, or I would like to be with the first man i was in dating. Although i do understand how you feel about it.

N said...

I find it rather strange that a caucasian student of clinical psychology with a nice smile etcetera is leery of double digits. I see three reasons for your post, and each one is hard to reconcile with your looks and your self-description:
1) you lack the arithmetic understanding of what double digits are. 10 is a double digit number. Is it high?
Given that you study psychology, albeit its clinical branch, in today's world, it is hard to believe that you lack the arithmetic understanding. You guys study so much quant stuff these days, don't you?
2) you are of Muslim upbringing. This does not reconcile with either your name or your looks.
3) you are incredibly and naively young. This does not reconcile with your being a graduate student, unless you were a prodigy child who entered college at age 15.

By the way, Melissa response so nicely plays on the coy ambiguities inherent in the word "number" and the acronym DD (breast size being the "other" meaning in both cases)... too cute.I think the recipe for you is to try to date smart and confident women like Melissa - hopefully you will forget about numbers, measuring up, ...