It's Not Me. It's You!

George:

Do I have to tell a guy to his face when I break up with them. Or can I just not return their calls and hope he gets the hint.

--- Passive-Aggressive, NYC

Dear PA:

This depends on how long you dated. If it's more than five dates, you owe it to this person to tell them to their face. I always hated the "slow fade," although I must admit I've used it myself once or twice. Being direct is better for men as well. The more ambiguity you have, the more he might continue to pursue you. And don't use the "it's not you, it's me" speech or worse, "we can still be friends." Just say you don't feel the compatibility you're looking for in a relationship. Keep it short and sweet and then excuse yourself so he can cry into his beer.

-- George