prescriptions for the soul

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Relationship Mechanic

George:

I’m getting married in October to the woman of my dreams! Any advice for soon-2-be newly weds?

--- E. T.

E.T.:

Congratulations on finding that special woman to share your life! Of course with marriage there is much to be said and much to discover on your own. My mother, with forty years of marriage experience, suggested that newlyweds find a good marriage counselor.

Just as everyone needs a good lawyer, doctor and accountant, so too do newlyweds need a caring therapist. Make a relationship with this person before problems occur. Think of him or her as a garage mechanic for your relationship. Sign up for six months of couples therapy soon after the wedding and check-in twice yearly thereafter for relationship tune-ups.

It's also important to learn how to argue effectively without burdening your partner with your old emotional wounds. Your therapist will coach you on achieving this goal.

True intimacy requires the courage to speak your truths. Working with a therapist you trust will provide the safe space necessary to share your deepest shadows with your wife.

One last piece of advice... love fiercely!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

good advice!!

Anonymous said...

You have a great understanding of relationships!